IN THE WARDROBE OF MY HEAD
A list of stuff found in a wardrobe in 2002. Some of the things I’ve collected/accumulated over the years.
Part of my story in second-hand paperbacks (featuring Venus In Furs, Generation X ), my friend Radar, my strange and interesting education, difficult times at Oxford University and how I coped (or didn’t).
More stuff found in the wardrobe: newspaper pages, music ephemera, LP and gig lists from the 70s (featuring Sid Vicious, Status Quo, Joy Division, ELP, Gary Glitter).
Notes from the attic of a charity shop on music, records and rubbish.
Page 52
…a large sweet jar full of regimental badges, music badges, brass buttons, keys, coins, chains, motorcycle parts…
The bullet cartridges, chains, teeth and some other items are no longer available.
Page 52
…Radar was quite small, quite scruffy and wore glasses…
Radar and self are on the middle row, as portrayed in a panoramic mid-70s school photograph.
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Because a panoramic photograph is captured via a narrow vertical aperture that moves slowly across the negative, it is possible to appear at both ends of the image if your speed of travel is faster than that of the aperture. This feat was accomplished by someone called Theobald, about whom I know literally nothing else.
Page 53
...the book I most regret not buying is "The Velvet Underground"...
Page 54
...I know that I bought "Generation X" on Thursday 7 June, 1979...
Page 61
…psychedelic drawings…
A psychedelic drawing. No idea when or where it was produced, which may or may not be significant.
Page 61
...concert programmes...
Concert programmes: Genesis, Tangerine Dream, Dr Feelgood, Camel, Steve Hillage, Rick Wakeman, Reading Rock ’78.
By hanging around for some time after the gig at the Liverpool Empire on Steve Hillage's 1977 Motivation Radio tour, I managed to attract the attention of Radio City DJ Mark Jones, who for some reason was there to introduce Steve Hillage. Mark took me backstage, where I met Steve and got my concert programme autographed, along with my free single.
It was a joyous and overwhelming moment for me. I can’t comment on Steve’s feelings about this brief encounter.
Building on this early experience, Mark Jones, MC and awards host, is now available to host awards, gala dinners, sportsmen's dinners and fundraisers across the UK and worldwide. Visit his website for more information.
Page 62
...various teenage mes in various school rugby B-teams...
One teenage rugby me (right) is enough for anyone, even myself.
Page 63
…as long as you don’t include Mr Oxton...
Mr Oxton with members of class 3A: (clockwise from top left) self, Wendy Longworth, Diane Staniford, John Murphy. As in the rugby photograph above, I was wearing shorts.
Page 65
..."Piledriver"...
Page 66
…the Ramones all dressed the same, even more so than Status Quo…
Page 78
…the music on "Unknown Pleasures" was shocking, sparse and coldly exotic. So was the front cover…
The cover of Unknown Pleasures has become so familiar that it’s quoted, referenced and ‘hommaged’ all over the place. This photo is of a gift I bought for some friends; a physical manifestation of the song ‘Joy Division Oven Gloves’ by Birkenhead legends Half Man Half Biscuit, from their album Achtung Bono.
The song starts ‘Well this dish is too hot / You'll never guess what / I've got Joy Division oven gloves’ and climaxes with the lines ‘Dance dance dance dance / In your Joy Division oven gloves’, referencing the refrain of the band’s first single, the sublime, unnerving, anguished ‘Transmission’.
This song, Greil Marcus wrote, ‘is not an argument. It's a dramatization of the realization that the act of listening to the radio is a suicidal gesture. It will kill your mind. It will rob your soul.’ Which of course makes the idea of Joy Division oven gloves even funnier. Just the idea of them, even before ‘a fan who was frustrated by the lack of any available online’ started selling them. Every time I see a picture of them, or even think about them, it makes me smile.
Page 79
…ELP played at the Liverpool Empire…
I bought two badges, but couldn't afford a programme or a T-shirt, a poster, a tea towel, a dinner service or a bedspread.
Page 80
…the shiny glans visible just below the woman’s swollen mouthparts…
Page 83
…Futurama 2, a dismal weekend ‘festival’ in a grotty old market hall in Leeds city centre…
Page 86
…an HR Geiger image known as "Penis Landscape"…
Its official title is "Work 219: Landscape XX". Other Giger recipients have included Walpurgis, Magma, Celtic Frost, Danzig, Carcass and Triptykon.
Perhaps the most widely seen of his album covers is the one for Debbie Harry’s Koo Koo (1981), in which her face and neck are pierced by four large needles, apparently representing the four elements and inspired by Giger’s visit to an acupuncturist. This close-up mutilation of a familiar female face actually seems more disturbing than other, more overtly violent biomechanoid rape mutilation fantasies involving anonymous, often faceless or defaced women.
